bigtips
Here's a way to save your mate from a forgotten name
by M.T. "the Big Tipper” Martone
Dear Big Tipper,
My girlfriend and I have a good system, and thought we'd share it with your readers. We're both really bad at remembering names, and in my girlfriend's case, faces too. Uh oh! Whenever we're together and someone comes up to one of us to say hi, if we can't remember her name and don't introduce in the first few seconds, the one who doesn't know her sticks out her hand and says hi and introduces herself. Then the person whose name we can't remember says her name, and everybody's happy.
My girlfriend is even extra suave sometimes, and says, "How do you know my girlfriend?"
I'm sure other couples
job with the energy of a diligent employee. The problem with programs like Amway and algae supplements (I've been pitched both, and more) is that they depend on the ruthless recruitment of salespeople for the tier below you. You are trained to hit up everyone, and that means your friends, family and other colleagues.
EO
BIG TIPS
do this, but if they don't, they should! And remember, if somebody doesn't remember your name, it doesn't mean they're a loser of they don't like you, they may just have a "little memory problem."
How Do You Know My Girlfriend?
Dear Pleased to Meet-Who?
Smooth, daddy. God knows your last point's true for me. I've been known to blank on the name of my boss, professors, people I've met repeatedly, and even very close friends if I'm introducing a roomful of people. I usually introduce the new person, and have everyone else say their names.
It really isn't an indication of my lack of fondness for someone. I think I may just be using that section of my brain for something else. Like all the words to the Top Forty from 1976 to 1980.
Dear M.T.,
I always thought that jokes that people made about Amway were funny, but I'd never seen that type of pressure sales in person. Now, I don't think it's funny at all. How can smart people get sucked into this sort of thing?
These friends of mine started selling some sort of algae that's a nutritional supplement. I don't want to take that stuff, but if they want to, who cares? They've never been particularly evangelical about any part of their lives, so when they started pressuring me to try it, and to start taking it regularly, I thought it was weird. Then they told me they were selling it, and told me about the bonus they would get if I would start selling it. I didn't even want to put it anywhere near me, much less sell it.
No matter where we were, they'd shake this green stuff into whatever they were drinking or eating, and go on and on about how it had changed their life. We can't spend any time together without it coming up that I should really get into this program.
I don't want to avoid them, but I'm starting to, and not just because it's annoying, but because it's so weird how they could have become so absorbed by this idea of making money that they can't see how it's changing them.
In the Green Dust They Trust
Dear Mysteries of the Pyramids,
If I were to be crass, I'd say that greed has a greater hold on people's spirits than we'd like to admit. If I were to be kind, I'd say that everyone longs for financial stability, and if it seems that an additional job will provide that security, it's reasonable to pursue that
You're told that the immense success that has come to people farther up the sales chain will be yours if you work hard enough, and if you're not making money "yet," you're not following the program, or you're lacking commitment.
Well, if you don't have a lot of disposable income, chances are you don't have a ton of pals who do, and if you do, do you think it's a priority for them to be buying and selling algae? Probably not.
People in these programs traditionally end up purchasing most of their sales requirement themselves, generating no income but stockpiling a nice supply of algae, and making money for people higher up the sales ladder. You're also required (or strongly encouraged, to "ensure success") to purchase expensive motivational products and attend frequent seminars that can be very far from home. Just another way the program is generating money from you, instead of for you.
Yes, if you get into a program early enough, you are one of those people higher up in the sales chain. Are you going to end up at that stage of any of these programs? Probably not, unless you start one yourself—and may there be mercy on your soul if you do.
Real friends don't pressure their friends-or anyone, for that matter-to do something they don't want to do, or can't afford to do. The success that those few people at the top achieve is inevitably at the expense of personal relationships.
There's another type of "program" you should definitely keep your eyes peeled for. As long as you're selling an actual product, these tiered sales programs are ostensibly legal. When there is no product of value, it is illegal.
Recently, a pyramid scam called the "Dinner Party" went around town. It was promoted as a way women could help women, and it was a pyramid in its purest form. Each woman was required to recruit two people for the level below her. Without going into the details, each woman “gifted" $5,000 to the woman at the top of the pyramid (four steps above her), and once she and the other women in the pyramid had recruited enough subsequent women, she would in turn receive $40,000
Cool! Money for nothing! The women at the top who had already been “gifted" told stories about the good work they were able to do with the money, helping women buy houses and get better jobs.
Hmmm. But you find yourself wondering where that money comes from, don't you? It comes from women further down the chain, and after a while, following exponential logic, there just aren't enough gals to support the bottom levels, and a whole lot of women have been scammed.
Don't fall for shit like this. It's tempting, but you'll be losing your money, or worse, stealing it from dopes further down the line. I'm sorry your friends are possessed. Maybe when they run out of cabinet space for the algae, they'll snap out of it. ✓
Burning questions? Contact me at the Chronicle, attention Big Tips, P.O. Box 5426, Cleveland 44101, or fax to 216-631-1052, or e-mail to martone@drizzle.com.
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A Vigil of Prayer
and Reconciliation
May 2-12 at Trinity
We are at a time in history when church and society are wrestling with the issue of sexuality and the full acceptance of gay and lesbian, bisexual and transgendered people. We invite all who care about justice to come to Trinity Episcopal Cathedral. Here you can worship, pray, be silent, and experience a welcoming and inclusive community of faith. There are a variety of opportunities for weekly worship, contemplation, education, service and witness. Please join us.
We are hosting a Vigil of Prayer and Reconciliation during the General Conference of the United Methodist Church. From Tuesday, May 2nd through Friday, May 12th, the Cathedral will be open daily from 7:30 a.m. to 9:30 p.m. Morning Prayer will be said at 7:30 a.m., Eucharist at 12 Noon, Evensong at 5:45 p.m., and Compline at 9:00 p.m. Sunday services are at 8:00 and 10:30 a.m. The Labyrinth will be open for walking throughout the Vigil. For a detailed schedule, please visit our Cleveland Live Web Page.
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in downtown Cleveland · East 22nd & Euclid Avenue
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216.771.3630 trinity44115@aol.com
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